


That stupid beautiful boy

by GraceCharming



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: Angst, Homophobic Language, M/M, Spoilers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceCharming/pseuds/GraceCharming
Summary: SPOILERS (season 1)Adam thinks back to all that has happened and what might happen.





	1. Everything that has happened

I don’t know had what gotten into me. That twat who I despised for his confidence and kind of envied him at the same time, wearing that fucking blue eyeliner and colourful clothes that screamed to the world to look at him. Staring me lying on the floor beneath me and I felt his warmth radiating. And then we kissed, I felt my cock harden against my jeans. So I just went with it and he seemed as eager but after I realized what had just happened on the dirty music room floor, I left him there and ran away. Not to home but to my usual hideout at the river. I lit a cigarette and stared at the river while sitting on the damp grass. The water was whirling slowly and suddenly a single tear rolled down my cheek. Oh great now I was crying over that idiot. I had bullied him for years but at the school dance seeing him hug his father I saw him a brand-new light. I almost had kissed him right there in front of everyone but I’m not fucking gay. 

When I was with Aimee, I had once when we were having sex fantasised about a man but after I was so disgusted for my thoughts that I didn’t dare to think it again. My father would beat the living shit out of me if he knew about the that. Already with all his rules and expectations that were crushing me. Mom would love me but father would not allow that. I hated him and was impossible to even look him in the eyes. Always comparing me to miss perfect. “Adam, you should be more like your sister”, was a sentence I had probably heard a million times. 

Father had high expectations and I failed him every time. I didn’t feel like even trying anymore and all I wanted was to get away from him. When he had threatened me with the stupid academy it made me feel numb. He shouldn’t have the power over me but every day I had to sit at the same table and turn over my phone every night. Fuck that and fuck him.

Tomorrow I would have detention again with Eric. I don’t think that I could face him again. Despite me threatening him not to tell anyone he would say something to Otis or he would have a diary like some fucking little girl. Even thinking about his perfect ass made stomach turn. At the same time, I wanted to find him and fuck him again and run away from everything. 

As I was walking home, I saw Madam that stupid fluffy dog who looked like cotton candy. Mom had been heart broken when she disappeared. I blamed myself for it and tried to look for her but there she was.  
“Madam. Madam come here!”  
The dog walk towards me and I picked her up. Perhaps finally I was doing something right so dad wouldn’t yell at me tonight.

“Mom. Look who I found”  
I closed the door behind me as she turned towards me with an apologetic smile and she wasn’t alone. A man who was obviously with military stood behind her.  
“Mom please”, I tried to beg her but clearly father had already made up his mind. She looked at me and shook her head looking miserable. My life was over. I climbed the stairs up to my room and started to stuff clothes to the bag. Everything in my room was generic but messy. There were a lot of used clothes on the floor and school books scattered across the floor. 

Mom and the man were silent as I walked back to the living room. She looked like she was about to cry and hugged me. The man walked to the door and opened it waiting for me to follow him. As I walked out of the door and threw my bag to the back seat of his car, I saw him. Eric stood across the street looking at me. There were a lot of things I would have liked to say to him, but I just stood there. He didn’t move but stood there looking like I got to the car and the academy man started the car. As he drove away, I glanced at Eric one more time. 

Fucking hell. Dad sent me away and it was worst than I thought it would be. As I was lying on the narrow bed all I could think was that gorgeous fucking idiot. I didn’t like him or wouldn’t suck him off, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

\------------------------------

The last few months were shit. There was this stupid rule that forbid smoking in the academy. Everyone around me were fucking stupid. All of us were fucked up or idiots. There were of course other stupid rules and if possible, even stricter than my father’s. I didn’t have phone during the night or the classes, so my social life was pretty much at the school. Witch was fucking unfair because I interacted with my class mates even less than I did back home. I didn’t need my phone to message anyone, I didn’t have any friends I wanted to talk to. Occasionally I talked with my mom but other than all I did with my phone was stalk on Eric. I had created an account just to glance at his pictures. 

The worst side of the whole academy was that it was so incredibly dull that the only thing that you could do was to study. Even I had opened the books once or twice. I was looking through Instagram once again when the icon in the corner turned blue. One new message. That’s odd, there isn’t anyone who would massage me, unless my sister had some how found my account. 

I clicked to the message and it was from Eric.


	2. If we could just

I clicked to the message and it was from Eric.  
“Hello”  
A word that simple made my stomach turn. There was multiple emotions running through my mind and perhaps the strongest was confusion. Why would Eric want to message me? For months I had tried to work out what was the emotion on Eric face when I last saw him. I didn’t know if he was angry with me for running away or if he pitied me for what my father had done to me. The only thing that I hadn’t thought was if he was interested in me. Now that the thought had popped up in my head it was hard to shake but surely, he couldn’t be interested in me. 

If he was now contacting me, did it mean that he was interested in me or did he want to talk about his feeling like a fucking bitch. I realized that I should answer something.  
“Hey”  
What if he thought I was too eager replying instantly. If he thought I wanted to just fuck him again and run away from him. And then it hit me. I fucking liked this idiot. I was nervously waiting him to message me and wanting to make a good impression. I was absolutely not gay but some how I had fallen for that jerk.  
Three dots came up to my screen as I tried to contain my inner struggle.   
“Can we meet sometime?”  
Did he mean he wanted to have sex with me again or just talk? Why was this so incredibly hard? Why couldn’t he just say what he wanted? Then the next message popped up.  
“I mean as friends or however you want it”  
Well what the fuck did he mean by that? I wouldn’t object us having sex again but hanging out as friends? No fucking way. I tried to write a text that wouldn’t include so many fucks shits but wouldn't leave him questioning what I wanted.  
“Yeah but not as friends. Tho I’m stuck in this stupid academy”  
“Don’t you ever have holidays?”  
“In couple of weeks”  
“Great. See you then”

That was the last message I had gotten from him. Five fucking long weeks I had endured this shit. The worst part was that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had dreamed of him a few times and sometimes even day dreamed. Like a fucking little girl. Classes had been the usual shit but surprisingly my math teacher was kind of nice. He wasn’t that usual old strict teacher, but rather he wanted us to understand what we were trying to learn. I kind of wanted to get back at my father for putting me in the stupid academy but I tried not to think about him and get on with my life. So I ignored every thought about my father and just tried to concentrate. Mom had promised that they would come and pick me up for the free weekend, but I wasn’t that keen on seeing father again. 

On Friday I was surprisingly nervous because I was meeting Eric that weekend. He hadn’t messaged me since the first texts, and I hadn’t dared to text him either. After the classes I collected my phone from the supervisor. She was an awful woman who didn’t respect anyone’s privacy. If you got a message and she noticed it, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. There was this boy Charles whose girlfriend had broken up with him via text and if that wasn’t enough from then on everyone knew him as lonely-Charles. Mom had called me a few times and the supervisor had seen ‘mom’ pop up on the screen but I guess her relationship with her mom was warm so she didn’t tease me about it.

As I waited for my parents to pick me up, I texted Eric.  
“Coming home for the weekend. Wanna see tomorrow?”  
He didn’t reply right away so perhaps he was doing what ever gay thing he did on his past time. Then I noticed a familiar car driving up the road. Immediately when I saw my fathers ugly face, I felt furious. He pulled up and just expected me to get in. I threw my bag in the back and sat down next to him. Apparently when mom said we’ll pick you up, she meant that father would pick me up rather than her joining him.  
The drive was more awkward than I had expected. I don’t know what had gotten into him, but he didn’t say a word during the whole drive. I didn’t have anything to say to him, so we drove in silence. After arriving home, mum didn’t allow me to go to my room but wanted to know every little detail about the academy. As usual father was quiet but out of habit or obligation listened me and mom talk.   
“Well honey that’s lovely to hear that you have adjusted to the academy. Your father I miss you dearly. I’ll start preparing dinner and leave you boys to chat,” mom got up from the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen. Father looked at me suspiciously.   
“What I have been hearing from your headteacher is that you haven’t adjusted that well”  
“Well it’s hard to fit in when everyone is as fucked up as I am”  
“Language Adam!”  
“I’m gonna up to room if you don’t mind”  
As I got up, father opened the newspaper. That usually the best way our conversations went and longest we had talked for years. I climbed the stairs up to my room. The first thing I did was to check my messages. Eric had replied.  
“At 11 at the bridge?”  
“Okay”  
I would see him again soon. I didn’t know what to expect but just seeing him after all these months was exiting. Some part of me wanted to kiss him and be cute but the other and louder part was saying I’m not gay and pushing Eric away. Then there was the part that wanted to have sex with my massive cock. All of those things were a big mess in my head and I couldn’t figure out what was the right thing to do.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I did was check my phone. I couldn’t remember if I ever was allowed to have phone over night. Maybe mom had asked father not to be so strict with his rules. No new messages so I dressed and walked downstairs. I saw mum and father still having breakfast.   
“Good morning honey”  
“Morning mom”  
“Do you have any plans today?”  
“I’m going to meet a friend in an hour”  
And that was all that my parents were interested in. We all ate in silence and after the breakfast I crabbed my jacket and walked out. As soon as I reached the forest, I lit a cigarette. As I walked towards the bridge, I got more and more nervous. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to happen but soon I would find out. 

I was leaning against the barrier of the bridge, when I saw Eric walking towards me. He was dressed as he would always dress with pink trousers, striped golden shirt and makeup. He was looking a bit nervous but despite he was smiling at me.  
“Hey”  
“Hey”  
“How is the academy?”  
“Shit”  
“Ah okay”  
Neither of us said anything. I was glancing him as he was staring at the ground.   
“I.. uh… would like…”  
I couldn’t find the words to describe my feelings.  
“How have you been?”  
“Great. Otis has been kinda annoying with all the sex stuff and Meave.”  
He blushed.  
“Ah that’s…nice”  
“I haven’t told him if that’s what you’ve been thinking”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah”  
He smiled shyly and looked like he was waiting me to say something. I tried to think of something to say but I didn’t have the words.  
“I felt pretty hurt when you left me without a word. And when I messaged you and you answered right away, I thought that maybe you also wanted to…”  
I stepped forward and raised my hand to brush his cheek. He turned to look me in the eyes surprised. I grabbed him by his waist and pulled him against my body. He pressed his lips on mine and all my doubts faded from my mind. It was just me and my beautiful stupid boy that I wanted to kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. Please tell me what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters or the events of the series. The second chapter will have more original material.


End file.
